The story was actually a short story called "Subjunctive" by David Eagleman. It starts off with this line:
"In the afterlife you are judged not against other people, but against yourself.On my way home from a usual, ridiculously long day of work at Feminist Inc. I had no choice to ponder this point. It made me think about the person that I could have been at this point. I mean after being alive for 25 yrs. so far, I could have made a ton of different choices in my life.
Specifically, you are judged against what you could have been."
What if I had gone straight to a 4 yr. college instead of to Community College first.
Or if I didn't go to the Real R.U. but to one of the fake ones.
Or if I had a child by now. (which is totally possible)
Or if I decided to start a relationship, stay in a relationship, or even marry 'Sac', 'Scooby', 'Brainiac' or 'Cocoabutter'
What if i decided to embark on a serious acting career (I mean, I was good at it).
Or if I didn't take this dead end job with Feminist Inc.
How different would I be? Would I be a better or worse person? I think that at this point in my life I am at a good spot. I am happy with myself. But, there are always the what ifs?
The story goes on to say that the after life is much like this life. Just filled with alternate yous. Better yous, Worse yous, and then there is the actual you living with all of these versions of yourself. For me, I think I just might have to kill myself again. Hopefully I'll make it to heaven or at least a better afterlife. But, with that what if I landed myself in a worse afterlife? Should I take my chances with this one?
I don't know if I could deal with the other me's. I don't know if I want to know how things would have been different. I mean with the worse me's it would be great. Kind of on the "Woah... glad I made that decision" feeling. Who doesn't like the feeling of knowing that the choice you made was the right one? But on the other hand the better me's would drive me to drink... heavily!!!!! I would rather not know how good a different choice would have turned out for me. I guess it's a double edged sword. With all of this... I hope I just go to heaven!
What are your thoughts?
Listen to the story: www.cbc.ca/wiretap/index.html?copy-audio Season 6 "A Better You"
Read the story: www.bookofjoe.com/2009/02/subjunctive-by-david-eagleman.html
Get the book: "Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives" By David Eagleman
Stay Tuned!
Although I can understand where this is coming from, since I often ponder the same types of questions, I always go back to one of my main convictions in life..."Everything happens for a reason, nothing is without purpose". Life is always going to seem to have the potential to be greener on the other side, but the truth is, the choices and decision we make in life, good and bad, all contribute to the essence of our being, and we should embrace that whole-heartedly. Without the wrong decisions, it'd be hard to recognize when I made the right ones and why they count.
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