PAMPERED WHAT?????

Soooooo...... One of the girls from work invited me to a Pampered Chef party that she was having at her house. For those of you who don't know what Pampered Chef is... it is on the lines of Tupperware. They sell cookware and other kitchen stuff. Mostly middle aged women throw and go to this type if thing but yes i felt like i had to go!

I had a late night at Feminist Inc. (as usual) and didn't leave the office till about 8 p.m. so of course i was late. As expected the presentation of this exquisite tremendously overpriced kitchenware was well under way and here i come ringing the doorbell and barreling in the front door like an animal. Seriously, all of the grace and poise that i usually possess must have shut off when i rang the bell. Luckily i wasn't the only late one and i brought another woman in with me.

As I am trying to get settled surrounded by middle-aged onlookers, put my stuff down, give the host my coat so she can get out of the middle of the floor, and take a seat...... My phone rings!!!! It couldn't be just a "Beep Beep" text message tone NOOOOOO!!! It was a total "someone is calling, pick up the phone, volume on 10" ring! The only thing that saved what little dignity i had left was that it was one of the stock ring tones, and not "the thong song" ringer or "How low can you go".

OK... so no I'm finally all put together, stopped the phone, sitting in a chair catalogue in hand listening seemingly very interested in what PC Lady is selling when she ask the very question that i hoped that i had missed. "So ladies can you introduce yourselves and tell us your favorite PC product?" I wanted to die at this point! Here is how the scene played out:

OTHER LADY: Hi! My name is Soccer Mom and my favorite product is the ice cream scoop!

PC LADY: That's great! We always have someone who likes that and tonight we didn't, but you just weren't here yet! Welcome! And you? (Motioning in my direction)

ME: Sure. Well my name is Sam and i don't really have a favorite product.

PC LADY: Really Why?

ME: Well I'm still at home and i don't so most of the cooking.

PC LADY: oh ok you're lucky

ME: Yep... Lucky!

(You would think she would just leave it at that right... no not at all)

PC LADY: Well is there something that your mom uses that you really like?

INTERJECTION FROM CO-WORKER HOST: Her dad does a lot of the cooking.

PC LADY: Wow i wish my husband cooked (of course this was followed by co-signs and head nods from the soccer moms and Suzie homemakers around me.) Is there something of his you like then.

(By this point i was so done, and clearly the only single woman who was still living with her parents in the room. All i could say was...)

ME: Nope

PC LADY: ok then well welcome I'm sure you'll find something tonight!

Yea... can you say embarrassing! Why did i feel like i had to go? Realistically, i have absolutely no need for that stuff. Like i said, yes, i am a 25 yr old single woman who still lives at home with her parents and doesn't do .a lot of the cooking! Pampered Chef kitchenware is not really on my list of needs. Needless to say, i ended up spending $50 on an ice bucket wit a scoop and a drink pitcher. UGHHHHH!

I THINK THE STICK SKIPPED ME

Soooo.... I always hear people say "I got the short end of the stick". Usually i can agree with them and say "Wow! Yea you did... Sucks to be you." But I think this time I didn't even get the short end. I didn't get any end of the stick. I didn't even have the opportunity to touch the stick. In recent days i have found that the stick just skipped right over me as it ALWAYS does!

To elaborate on the back story of my findings... I am the 2nd of 4 children. No, I don't have middle child syndrome or anything like that. I think I was treated pretty fairly by my folks throughout my life thus far. But, I have always been the responsible one. Not because I had to... just because I was. Sure... I have had many opportunities to make questionable, unrealistic and stupid decisions but I have always taken a look down the road to see how my choices would pan out in the long run. Not saying that this is a bad thing or a good thing its just something I've been doing for as long as i can remember.

Let me put it this way. In college i studied Sociology as my major with a minor in Theater. Not saying that this couldn't be the other way around but i wanted to have a strong versatile foundation that would make me eligible for many jobs that would ensure me a steady paycheck (because i like money... and i especially like having it in my bank account or physical possession). Any way my siblings were not as logical thinkers majoring in FINE ARTS, DANCE, and VIDEO GAMES! Yes! I will admit all three of these majors are cool as hell! But logical.... i'ma have to go with "NOT AT ALL" and YES that is my final answer!

On to the situation at hand.... and my side commentary!!!
A: Grandmom is moving to Jersey. Yay... for her!
B: Grandmom is moving out of her very nice condo. This is expected since she can not live in 2 places at once.
C: Grandmom does not want to sell her very nice condo. Yay... for possibly ME!!!!
D: Grandmomo has paid off the entire mortgage on said very nice condo. This would add a check mark under the "Yay for possibly me" column
E: Dad thinks that one of us kids should take over Grandmom's very nice condo. I would agree with this statement
F: I am currently the only child still living at home. I would hope this would play in my favor in this situation
G: Condo fee on the very nice condo is about $350 a month. Ok now i am filling with JOY because I am financially challanged and can not afford $800+ a month for rent.
H: Dad offered said very nice condo to my brother. WOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT HAPPENED!

Is it just me....or is this some how FUCKED UP!

I thought I had this in the bag. I'm baffled. Can someone explain this to me? I'm very confused.....

You know what.... i didn't get the short end of the stick, and it didn't skip me... maybe it just didn't get to me.

STILL FUCKED UP!!!!

Thoughts?

SOMEBODY'S GOT A CASE OF THE MONDAY'S

So..... Is it possible to have a "case of the Monday's" ALL WEEK!!!!! It is almost friday and it has repeatidly felt like Monday everyday. I feel like i'm in some crazy groundhog day vortex.

I think I would have to attribute this chronic case to the lovely Monday morning all staff meeting at Feminist Inc. which was actually on Monday but somehow the tone of the meeting just shitted on the rest of my week before it even got here. I was totally prepared for the usual "numbers" this and "we are one" that. But then they dropped the bomb. In not so many words it was said "We know all of you are working so hard and committed to the mission and you think you're doing a good job... but YOU'RE NOT... and we need all of you to do better!" Then came the barrage of contradictory statements. "We know you work very hard but we want you to work smarter not harder." and "we want you to provide better customer service to your volunteers but stop going to all of these meetings with them" and finally "we know you are overworked but we're going to save some money by having you do data entry and putting you on a bunch of teams and groups and committees and sub-committees to figure out how we can fix all of our problems!"

REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

I just want this week to be over!